Put Your Hand In My Hand

"May Your hand be ready to help me, for I
have chosen Your precepts."
Psalm 119:173 NIV

(Original Post: Monday, August 24, 2009; Liam is now 4 years old)

Last Friday morning, my 18-month-old grandson Liam came over to play. He was just in time for breakfast, so I set him in the high chair with a bowl of dry Honey Nut Cheerios and a little spoon. First, he picked up the spoon with his left hand, then meticulously moved his right fingers to “spoon holding position” before placing the utensil carefully in his right hand.  It was clear he’d had some practice. With determination on his face, he spooned a lone Cheerio and raised it to his mouth...only to drop it on the floor because he turned the spoon sideways. 

I was amazed at Liam’s persistence and patience even though the cereal never quite made it into his mouth. He tried again and again, even putting the cereal that fell on the tray back in the bowl. After a few minutes, I decided to try to help. I placed my hand on his and held the spoon level when he raised it up, so he could actually eat a bite. We played this repetitive “game” for a good little while, and I saw him make some serious progress. 

Little hands often need big hands to guide them...hands that are gentle yet strong and experienced but not impatient. Sometimes it’s the best way to learn. I fondly remember the touch of my Grandma Cline’s arthritic hands on mine as we crocheted in tandem for days, until I could master the delicate stitches on my own. To this day, crocheting is one of my most favorite (and relaxing) hobbies.

God’s hand is there to guide us...big and small...when we need it, too. But most of the time, He waits for us to put our hands in His. How much easier could life be if we went to Him in the beginning, instead of as a last resort!

Heavenly Father, give me nurturing, loving hands that my children can trust and learn from. Teach me to use my hands for guidance but never control. And may Your hand be upon me as I seek to walk in Your will. In Jesus‘ Name, Amen.

You're Never Alone

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified...the
LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor
forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

(Original Post: Friday, March 27, 2009)

Four summers ago my oldest daughter called in hysteria, needing directions to Children’s Hospital in downtown Dallas. Saber was by himself en route to the medical center via ambulance. Gwen was 30 miles away, frantic, and didn’t know how to get there.

Saber had fallen 15’ from a tree in his Memaw’s backyard. On the way to the ground, God miraculously saved him from a tragic outcome. His thin “I Love New York” t-shirt caught on one of the lowest tree branches, halting his fall mid-air, just inches from the bricks on the ground below. But blood was everywhere. A sharp limb had severely sliced his leg open from upper thigh to knee. EMS responders determined they needed to bypass a closer regional hospital and go straight to Children’s. Memaw was home alone with the other grandchildren, so she couldn’t go with them.

Gwen was imagining how afraid Saber must be...hurt and alone, being taken by strangers to a place he’d never been before...as a mother, she desperately wanted to give him comfort and be by his side.

But Saber didn’t feel alone. The attendants in the ambulance were wonderful. They brought comfort to this little 7-year-old boy as if he was their own. Their calm assurance helped transform a scary time into an exciting adventure, complete with one very big scar! A quick phone call alerted one of our church friends (a pediatric physician at Children’s) who met the ambulance at the door of ER. Saber was well cared for. Mom arrived moments later and yes, she survived too.

The Bible reminds us time and time again our God is never absent. When young boys Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were taken into captivity by King Nebuchadnezzar, God was with them every step of the way. Instead of being fearful, they stood on their faith and trusted God. When they were thrown into a furnace, He saved them from a fiery death. In the end, they were elevated to positions of great importance. 

You can’t be everywhere all the time when your children need you. Only God can. But you can take great comfort in knowing the God who created the universe is the same God who watches over your children when they are beyond your grasp and out of your sight. Teach them to trust in Him and call upon Him when they are afraid or feel alone. He will never leave them!

God, I am so grateful You watch over all of us even when we don’t realize it. Thank you for all of the times Your angels have saved my children from harm. Continue to watch over them, protect them, and draw them unto You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Be Flexible

"Do not be anxious about anything."
Philippians 4:6 NIV

(Original Post: Sunday, March 22, 2009)

Very few things in life are free, but I’ve found one you never have to pay for...it just magically appears in abundance with every child you have...laundry!

When my four kids were little, they didn’t make laundry hampers big enough for the mountain of clothes we generated. The only way to possibly get caught up for 30 seconds was to load everything in the car and take it to a laundromat. And that wouldn’t last for long. Most days, my trusty Maytag labored nonstop, and the den couch served as a dumping ground as each load was pulled from the dryer. I folded what I could, but there were diapers to change, meals to cook, places to go...you get the picture...the only time our couch functioned as a real couch was when we had company.

One Saturday afternoon, a family from church arrived at our house unexpectedly. When the doorbell rang, I was horrified! I couldn’t let them see my piles of laundry on the couch...what would they think...where would they sit? I immediately yelled for everyone to help me. We each grabbed armfuls of clean clothes and raced to hide them in a bedroom. And all that for what? It turns out, all that for our friend’s entertainment...they watched (and thoroughly enjoyed) the whole comical exercise through our living room window. After I got past the humiliation and embarrassment, I was able to laugh about it (sort of)!

In those days, I took myself - and my pride - way too seriously. I had a very rigid and unrealistic standard for what my house had to look like before anyone could enter. That put unfair pressures on all of us. It’s good to try to be neat and orderly, but insane to think it would ever be perfect as long as four little children were running around.

I was like Martha in the Bible (Luke 10)...consumed with my many tasks...trying to make everything just right...Jesus told her she was too worried and distracted by “things”. I needed to be flexible enough to let some things go...and enjoy more moments with my kids, with my husband and with my Lord.

Slow down. Rearrange schedules so your family has time to be together. Read a book. Take a walk around the block. Play cards. Bake cookies. Watch a movie. Allow yourself the freedom to let the laundry sit an extra day and seize a moment with your kids while a moment is still within your grasp.

God, my kids are growing up right before my eyes and if I don’t slow down, I’m going to miss it. Teach me not to worry about things that can wait. Help me be flexible and smart enough to make the main thing the main thing. In Jesus‘ Name, Amen.

Falling In the Ocean

"Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of
joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The Lord has done
great things for them'." Psalm 126:2 NIV

(Original Post: Friday, January 28, 2011)

Texas may get hot in the summer, but in March it can still be a bit chilly. It was spring break  and for once, Grant and I decided to actually go somewhere for vacation. We loaded up our four children and headed south, spending nights at my Uncle Don’s house in Houston, but taking day trips to see other parts of near-by south Texas. The kids begged to go to the beach and even with temperatures in the low 70’s, they insisted on wearing shorts. Minutes after we parked the car, their shoes and socks started coming off. Gwen and Shannon “just wanted to get their feet wet”. Famous last words.

Despite our strict warnings, the children continued to venture further into the water...a little at a time. “Please...just up to our ankles,” they promised, but they kept inching deeper until the waves were playfully dancing around their knees. If you know kids, you know where this story is headed.

Becky wasn’t nearly as tall as Gwen and Shannon and yet she kept right up with their knee height. Her coullotte shorts were already getting wet. Suddenly, the water surged a little harder than before and it swept her right off her feet! At least that’s Becky’s story. But her delighted giggling was less than convincing. Since she was already wet, there was no reason to try to stay dry now...right? What’s a parent to say? Not to be outdone, Drew “accidentally” fell in next, followed by Gwen and Shannon.

We let them swim in the water until their lips literally turned blue from the cold. What fun they had that afternoon! The worst part was getting out. Covered in sand and dripping head to toe, there were no towels, no dry clothes, not even any dry underwear! Fortunately there was a nearby Walmart.

It doesn’t take a lot of money to have fun. We made the mistake of not taking regular vacations when the children were young because we thought we couldn’t afford it. The older they got, the more difficult it was to coordinate their schedules to fit in even short excursions.

Plan simple getaways that let you relax and enjoy one another. The best times can be the unstructured leisure trips where there is no itinerary...no place where you have to be because you paid to go there. Sleep in, play hard and go with the flow...even if it happens to be wet and sandy. (Remember to pack extra clothes for “just in case”)!

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving us such wonderful children. I treasure the memories of their childhood, and the fun things we did together. Help them enjoy their young families and build special memories with them too. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sticking Close To Grandparents

"Children's children are a crown to the aged, and
parents are the pride of their children."
Proverbs 17:6 NIV

(Original Post: Saturday, December 5, 2009)

God knew what He was doing when He created grandparents. They’re the ones who’ve already discovered how fast little ones stop being little. And...they know how hard it is for a parent to be “all things” to a child. So...when you keep them nearby, they are the absolute BEST at helping to “fill the gap” when the gap needs filling.

I was fortunate to live near my grandparents when I was a child. I loved spending time at their Kaw City home typing on my grandpa’s electric typewriter, sewing on my grandma’s zig-zag Singer sewing machine, sitting in front of the grain elevator waiting for the evening train to roll through town, eating popcorn and watching Gunsmoke, or planting maize in the back yard...grandma taught me to crochet, grandpa taught me to drive...and sometimes he even helped me out of some trouble...

It was the summer of my 16th year. I had driven to the A&W Root Beer Stand looking for friends to hang out with. In my haste to pull into a parking spot, I scraped the whole left side of my car on a concrete menu post. Luckily, there were no dents, but the wide orange stripe on the driver’s side of my new green mustang was not going to be easy to explain to my parents. 

I’m not sure what I thought Grandpa could do, but I drove straight to his house believing he’d have an answer. And he did. He sprinkled paint remover on an old rag and worked his magic on the side of my car. When he finished, the car looked good as new. To this day, I don’t know if he ever told my parents. I know I didn’t. Oops - if mom is reading this, I just let a 40-year-old cat out of the bag :-)

I wouldn’t trade the memories of my grandparents or the valuable lessons I learned from them for all the money in the world. My children were not as fortunate.

Grant and I moved to Texas when Gwen was still a baby, and we allowed our lives to get so busy we barely had time to go “home”  for visits. When we did, our trip was quickly split between two sets of parents plus siblings and cousins on both sides. The children missed out on really knowing their grandparents. That makes me sad. It’s something we can never give back to them.

Grandmas and Grandpas make good babysitters, great teachers, awesome “listeners” and forever friends. They can even help moms and dads carry the heavy load of parenting. If you have a choice, stick close to family. The grass may be greener somewhere else, but grass is no replacement for the love and companionship of a grandparent!

Heavenly Father, help me be the same kind of grandparent I was blessed to know and love. Guide me in prioritizing my days so I have the time and the energy to build precious memories with my grandchildren. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Loose Teeth Didn't Stand a Chance

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

(Original Post: Monday, January 3, 2011)

Most kids get excited when they start to lose their teeth because it’s a sign they’re growing up. But at our house, the kids will all agree with me that DAD was the most excited person around when one of their teeth showed signs of becoming “ready”. They usually approached me first, but I don’t do teeth.

Grant, with Frankensteinesque eagerness, employed many tactics to remove baby teeth, including tweezers, slippery fingers, locking surgical forceps, and strings wrapped around the tooth and then tied to a slamming doorknob. The forceps worked the best, but it always took several jarring attempts to get them locked onto the tooth...most unsettling to anyone (like me) with a queasy stomach! Did I mention I don’t do teeth?

Seldom was a tooth the winner with Dr. Grant in the house. Following each victorious extraction, after a warm gargle with salt water, the young patient would be all smiles, posing for pictures and anticipating a visit from the “pretend” tooth fairy. I still have a medicine bottle filled with dozens of tiny enamel nuggets --- I’m probably the only one (except my mother) nostalgic enough to wish I’d kept them separated by child.

Baby teeth are just place-holders. They become useless and are meant to fall out, so new, permanent teeth can grow and take their place. When we accept Jesus in our heart, our old sin nature is like a child’s baby tooth --- it falls away and makes room for our new life in Christ to grow and blossom!

Pulling baby teeth makes a great object lesson for teaching children about letting go of old things (selfishness, lying, cheating, stealing, etc.) and allowing Jesus to create new desires, motives and attitudes that glorify Him. Remind them it’s only when the old is gone that the new can come!

Heavenly Father, Your world is filled with object lessons! Open my eyes to see them all around me. Help me take advantage of each teachable moment so I can bring Your truths to life for my children. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The Twirl Test

"And because I consider all your precepts right, I hate every
wrong path." Psalm 19:128 NIV

 (Original Post: Wednesday, January 5, 2011)

For every little boy who’s dreamed of becoming a policeman or fireman, there’s a little girl who wants be a ballerina. My theory is, in many instances, they just like the clothes. Fortunately for my three girls, Grandma had a closet filled with recital costumes, prom dresses, hats, high heels and gloves. What a time they had (my mother included) pulling everything out, listening to stories of who wore this or that, and parading up and back as they modeled for an ever present audience...the camera.

Becky was the smallest of the granddaughters, and the only cousin who could fit into my sister’s old ballerina costume - the daisy-studded one with a yellow tutu skirt. Somehow the sandals didn’t do the outfit justice, but all the same...when the straps slipped over Becky’s shoulders, she WAS a ballerina. I wonder what visions danced in her head as she dizzily twisted and twirled in circles so her tutu could fly with the wind! When she worked in the kids' department at Nordstrom, she told little girls that every dress needs to pass the “twirl test” to make sure it’s just right.

Summer of 1985 - the girl cousins at Grandma's house

It’s too bad the “twirl test” doesn’t apply to everything in life. If there was an easy way to tell when other things were right (or not), think how many mistakes we could teach our children to avoid. There’s another test that became an iconic phrase in the 90’s...”what would Jesus do?” The profound simplicity of this question is possibly the best test for decision-making you can give your child. Ground them in the Word of God, enlighten them on the heart and character of Christ, and simply remind them He is with them wherever they go and whatever they do. Would He approve? What would He say? Hmm. I think that might work for us grown-ups, too... 

Heavenly Father, help me arm my children with the knowledge of the character of Christ so they test and make their decisions based upon what they believe He would do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Who Can You Count On?

"...I [the Lord] will never leave you nor forsake you."
Joshua 1:5b NIV

Last fall, Grant asked our oldest grandson to help him clean and mulch the large flowerbeds in front of our house. They agreed on an upcoming Saturday both of them were free. When the day arrived, Grant took Caleb for an early breakfast before working him all day in the scorching sun. Caleb was a hard worker and the yard looked wonderful when they finished. 

A few days later, we discovered Caleb had missed his first soccer practice scheduled (after he’d signed up for yard duty) on that same Saturday morning. We felt terrible, knowing how important soccer is to Caleb, and that missing a practice could impact his playing time on the team. When asked why he didn’t tell us so we could reschedule, 15-year-old Caleb made my heart proud with his simple response: “I promised Papaw first.” There is little doubt Caleb wanted to be on the soccer field more than doing manual labor for us, but he felt it was important to honor his first commitment...even if it meant sacrificing more than just a Saturday.

Kudos to Gwen and Marcus for modeling strong character and teaching their kids the importance of commitment. When children see promises kept by their parents, it fortifies their faith to believe God's promises. Caleb’s resolve to do the right thing brings honor to the God he serves, and will take him far in life. He is becoming a tremendous example for others, both young and old. 

God does the same thing for us...He promises to be with us always, no matter what. If He ever seems far away, it’s because we’ve run from Him...He hasn’t left us. He is the God of countless wonders, the God of countless answers...a God to be counted on in good times and bad.

Heavenly Father, it’s hard to comprehend how wide and deep Your love for me is...even when I sometimes get so caught up in my life I forget You are there. Help me be the kind of person You and others can count on. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves."
Philippians 2:3 NIV

(Original Post: Wednesday, August 12, 2009)

Child development specialists say children start out selfish and must be taught to share with others. Stand in a room with a group of playing toddlers and you will almost always hear the word “mine” emphasized with a push or a shove. Each child wants what the other one has, not necessarily to play with it, but just to have it. Too often, parents fall into the trap of buying duplicate “stuff” for their kids so nobody has to share...it’s just easier and more peaceful that way. Unfortunately, those children grow up thinking “it’s all about ME”. They want their cake and eat it too. Somehow, the world doesn’t always work that way and sooner or later, that attitude leads to disappointments and life failures.

It’s easy for me to say my kids learned to share. The truth of the matter is they had to because there were four of them and we didn’t have a lot of money. At some point in their lives they all shared a bedroom with one or more siblings before getting rooms of their own. I was grateful for the invention of bunk beds and trundles! One day Drew asked me if he’d have to sleep on a bunk bed in heaven...

Despite forced sharing, we definitely had moments when selfishness precipitated knock-down-drag-out fights. The most memorable one was when Gwen and Shannon got into it during their adolescent years and Gwen had to go to school with a busted lip after Shannon punched her. 

Beyond their tiffs and complaints, I’m convinced being in close proximity all those years, sharing space, toys and clothes taught each of our children the values of compromise and selflessness.

God’s Word teaches us to put others first. For the selfish, that seems like naive folly. But in the eyes of our heavenly Father, He isn’t asking us to do anything He hasn’t already done first. He put us first when He allowed His Son to suffer and die on a cross, all for the forgiveness of our sins.

Heavenly Father, remove from me any selfishness that might keep me from seeing and doing Your will. May You be glorified as I serve You by serving others. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

Who Do You Call?

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD
is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?"
Psalm 27:1 NIV

(Original Post: Monday, March 9, 2009)

I started working full time at our church in Abilene when my fourth and youngest child was in Kindergarten. The week before Christmas break, he was taught how to use the phone to call 9-1-1...

It was early January, and the kids were still out of school for Christmas break. Grant and I had to go to back to work. Mid-afternoon one day, I received a frantic call from my oldest daughter, Gwen, telling me I had to come home immediately because the police were on the way to our house. Apparently sibling rivalry had run amuck with no parents at home to referee our two preteen girls, and a great shouting match had erupted. Drew, having just learned how to handle emergencies, did what any concerned 5-year-old might do. He called 9-1-1 and said “Help! My sisters are fighting!” And then he hung up.

Unfortunately for Gwen and Shannon, the Abilene Police Department had caller ID and they immediately called back to assess the problem. Gwen’s quick hang-up was probably not the best response to make...needless to say, we were properly embarrassed when our house was listed in the Abilene Reporter News police notes as “Call for domestic violence.”

The fact is, life gives us plenty of reasons to need someone we can call on for help --- and 9-1-1 won’t be the answer. Our children need to know we are a safe and trustworthy sounding board for them. When they are hurt or afraid, those feelings are their reality and must be respected and taken seriously. If we dismiss their fears, criticize them, or even worse...ridicule them, we are not the protectors they need us to be.

Listen to your child. Never make fun of their thoughts or concerns. Walk alongside them through their “crisis”, and help them find ways to solve their problem. Pray with them. Teach them to pray for themselves. Remind them God will always be there, even when you can’t be. 

God, I am so grateful You are a BIG God and You watch over my children even when I’m not around. I ask you to keep them free from fear and help them trust in You for their protection. Help me be a trustworthy confidante for them, always listening and never judgmental. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

36 Years Ago Today

"The Lord will guide you always."
Isaiah 58:11a NIV

(Original Post: Friday, January 7, 2011; revised)

I will never forget the day in December of 1975 when my obstetrician casually asked how my “breathing classes” were going as he measured my watermelon-sized belly. I was 21 years old and it was my first pregnancy. I was less than two weeks away from the projected due date.

“What breathing classes?” I asked, moving into panic mode as he explained Grant and I should have taken eight weeks of classes to teach me how to breathe during labor. Oops. Somebody in the office had forgotten to tell me. Now it was too late.

I drove straight home and called my mother. (This was before cell phones). “I can’t have a baby,” I sobbed. “I don’t know how to breathe!”

I’m sure mother was laughing on the inside, but she didn’t laugh at me...good thing...I wasn’t in any shape to be made fun of. I was a mess! Mother assured me the baby was “coming out” whether I knew how to breathe or not. And, in fact, “she” did just that.

Perhaps breath-less would be a good description of how I felt 36 years ago today, holding our first newborn baby in my arms. Who was I that God would bless me with such a precious miracle?! And how could I possibly know what to DO with her? 

Good thing for Gwen...God had a plan. He’d already given me a wonderful example who’d been teaching me all my life...my own mother who loved me unconditionally. Next, He put wonderful women in my path to mentor me, walk alongside me, hold my arms up when I was weary, and encourage me when I felt I’d failed. And He blessed me with a supportive husband who didn’t run away from dirty diapers or midnight colic or his postpartum wife. I was by no means perfect, but by God’s grace Gwen, followed by Shannon, Becky and Drew all turned out to be great kids who grew into amazing adults! While I don’t quite subscribe to the politics of “it takes a village to raise a child”, I couldn’t have done it without God and some very faithful people in my life!

Heavenly Father, thank you for trusting me with the lives of my four children...and for patiently standing by me as I learned what it meant to be a mom. Thank you for special people who played a role in helping me succeed. You, more than anything, were the rock that kept me (and my kids) from sinking! I love you! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Tell the Stories

"I will remember the deeds oft he Lord; yes, I will
remember Your miracles of long ago."
Psalm 77:11 NIV

(Original Post: Thursday, March 5, 2009)

Last week we buried my grandfather. He was 99 years old. As the family gathered for his home-going celebration, I learned things about him I didn’t know. My grandparents owned two grain elevators in the small town of Kaw City, Oklahoma. Winters were often harsh there, and November of 1936 was no exception. An ice storm had crippled the city, freezing streets, sidewalks and water pipes when the unthinkable happened. A huge fire erupted. Volunteer fire fighters rushed to the scene, but quickly gave up the fight when conditions seemed insurmountable. Not easily dissuaded, my “Gramps” and one other man risked their lives, climbing rickety alley stairs to tackle the fire from the inside of the buildings. They prevailed and were credited with saving the town. I wish I could have heard the entire story from his lips while he was still alive, instead of a mere summary of it at his funeral!

How many times are great stories gone forever because they aren’t passed on to the next generation? When the Israelites were about to cross the Jordan River into the Promised Land, God instructed Moses to have a member of each tribe take a rock from the bed of the river...the rock was to serve as a reminder of all the miracles God had performed for the people. Every time they saw the rock, they were to tell their children and their children’s children what God had done - so the miracles would never be forgotten. 

We’ve all experienced miracles and seen answers to prayer. They are a part of our story...our story of faith. If God wanted the Israelites to keep their stories alive...He surely wants us to do the same thing today. Why? Because the stories of miracles give hope to believe and to trust.

Take time to remember what God has done in your life...and tell those stories to your children...over and over again. As they hear of God’s faithfulness in your life, it gives your children tangible reasons to believe. 

God, there have been times I prayed with only a mustard seed-sized faith...and You answered me anyway. Help me remember the precious things You’ve done in my life that will be faith-builders to my children like they’ve been to me. Give me the words to share and grant my children ears to truly hear them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

My Mom

"I will show you my faith by what I do."
James 2:18b NIV

(Original Post: Wednesday, March 4, 2009)

For those of you who haven’t met my mom...here she is, pictured with two of her great-grandchildren. At 77, she has more projects going and irons in the fire than you can shake a stick at. I think I inherited that gene from her...along with her “pile method of filing”, and working into the night, and a love for creating with words, and so much more...they say the apple never falls far from the tree. My four children would tell you I am my mother.

The first step in helping to develop our kids spiritually is to understand that who we are as parents is who our kids will become...if we want them to pray and have faith, they have to see us praying and believing. I don’t mean just talking about it...I mean DOING it. You’ve heard the term “doing life”...well how about “doing faith”? 

Of course this realization may make each one of us take a good strong look at ourselves and ask the question...is my faith worth emulating? Ouch. Let’s don’t be too hard on ourselves...but let’s don’t waste any more time either!

Where to start? At the very beginning. Pray.

God, I realize I only have a few short years to model my faith to my children before they are grown and out from under my wings. You know where my weaknesses are. Please, by your Holy Spirit, show me how to live my life so I am a living witness to them for You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.