If You Can't Say Something Nice

"My words come from an upright heart; my lips sincerely speak
what I know." Job 33:3 NIV

(Original Post: Tuesday, May 19. 2009)

If I worked on the production line in heaven, I would ask God to put a safety valve on people’s tongues to shut it off when their brain gets too heated. Why? Because when people get hot-headed, the overflow of their frustration and emotion often comes billowing out of their mouth in the form of mean and hurtful words.

I used to teach an object lesson in Children’s Church once a year. Several students would be selected for a race. At the sound of the whistle, each contestant would try to be the first to squeeze all the toothpaste from their tube. Lively music played in the background while classmates cheered them on. When the first person emptied their tube and thought they’d won, I would explain the race was only halfway over. Next, they had to put the toothpaste back in the tube! It didn't take long for them to realize it couldn't be done. The point I wanted them to learn was...what flows out so easily is absolutely impossible to put back in.

Words that are spoken can never be taken back. Their effect can last a lifetime. When I was a little girl, my mom used to cut my bangs. Evidently, I didn’t sit still for her, and the result wasn’t pretty. As we walked along a sidewalk one day, a woman looked at me and said to her companion, “...that poor little girl”. That was fifty years ago, but I still remember how it made me feel. It was embarrassing and humiliating...and unnecessary.

Teach your children the importance of speaking well of others. It’s a lesson we should ALL take to heart...if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. And if you THINK it, but it’s not nice, ask God for the grace to see people and circumstances through His loving and forgiving eyes. Ask for your thoughts to become like His thoughts.

God, give me the self-control to speak only words of kindness to others. Keep me from lashing out in anger or saying things I have to apologize for later. Help my children learn how to speak kindly or remain silent. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.